Don't be a Crampy Cramperton. Hydrate in the heat!

I did a couple of rides this past week that put me face to face with riding with a combination of tough conditions.

Because it has been really windy around my area lately, I waited to do two rides on back-to-back days toward the end of the week, when the wind was supposed to have calmed down somewhat. All week the weather had not only been windy, but hot, pushing into the 90s.

So the first day 50-miler I did was at a fairly good clip, on mostly flat bike path. The wind had lessened from the two days before, but it was still a noticeable crosswind that slowed progress.

The following morning, I rode out again on the same route, and this time I had the Bermuda Triangle of tough conditions facing me: It was still windy, it was still hot, and I had tired legs from hammering it most of ride the day before.

In cases like this, I just tell myself I’m out to get my miles in and that I’ll ride as fast as I can, even if that’s kinda pokey compared to usual. The one thing I noticed right away, though, was that my legs felt like lead. They were tired and heavy and that put me into more of a slog it out rhythm instead of my normal one where I pick up the pace when I feel myself slowing.

I had brought along only one bottle of FRS infused water, and at the halfway point of the ride, I refilled it at Folsom Lake. It was really hot and windy at the lake and I took an electrolyte gelcap called Endurolyte to keep cramping at bay. There was about 25 more miles to ride in the heat and wind, and I had a feeling my legs were going to protest and at some point maybe try to cramp.

Cramps have hit me in the quads when three conditions happen at once. I’ve been on a long, hot ride with either a lot of climbing or on tired legs on a relatively flat route, and I’ve forgotten to drink water regularly during the ride.

Last summer I cramped near the top of Ebbetts Pass after having climbed Monitor Pass, ridden down its other side to Highway 395, then back up, down Monitor and up the front side of Ebbetts. Near the top of Monitor, after riding in desert-like hot conditions up from Highway 395, I could feel my quads starting to bark, and my right hamstring starting to tighten. I drank more water, rode down Monitor and over to Ebbetts, and started that climb, the third big one of the ride. I caught up to my buddy Marc about three fourths of the way up. He had stopped to wait for me. When I tried to get off the bike, my quads seized up and he had to slide the bike out from under me as I gripped the guard rail, trying to find a position where I could relax and let the muscles relax and let the pain go. I drank more water and had more electrolytes, and was able to get back on and ride out the cramps to the top. But in retrospect, I simply hadn’t been keeping hydrated enough during the ride. That happens really easily, too, because it’s easy to forget to drink regularly.

On this second ride home this week, my legs were giving me similar signals that I was pushing them too hard. On the second half of the ride, I drank all my water and stopped for a refill. I was working hard, groaning sometimes (when I catch myself groaning, I know I’m on the ragged edge, and am approaching the land of BONK) and and managed to drain that. I didn’t have any more electrolytes to take, but I wished I had.

When I got home and got off the bike, both quads seized up tighter than a bull’s ass in the fly season. I crouched down defensively like Crampy Cramperton as I groped for my house key out of my back pocked, then slapped both quads to try to relax the muscles. They eased up enough for me to limp into the house with the bike and soon I could walk without pain.

But on retrospect, knowing it would be hot, and knowing I had tired legs and wind resistance to deal with, I should have hydrated before getting on the bike. I’ve done this on other hot rides, but I forgot! But in those conditions I’ve downed a whole bottle of water before starting out with full bottles, and have been able to sweat through hot, tough riding without cramping.

So for me, remembering to properly hydrate has been a problem. It comes from not going over in your mind what you need to ride well in whatever trying conditions are at hand.

But after suffering from cramps because of lack of water in the system, it should be branded onto the frontal lobe, that proper hydration is the key to cramp free riding in the heat. Now, I’m determined to tell myself this before every hot ride. Drink a bottle of water before you even get on the bike. Then bring enough water  to drink regularly during the ride.

Public spectacle aftereffects

I think it was after that multi-climb ride I described earlier that I had some lingering aftereffects of overtaxed, dehydrated, crampy legs. I went to a movie and my legs stiffened up while watching the movie. When it ended I got up and started walking with the crowd out of the theater, when my inside thighs cramped, shooting bolts of pain into them, and suddenly turning me into 89-year-old Crampy Cramperton, limping in pain in the dark to the exit, while my friend watched and laughed at the spectacle. I limped out to the lobby through the crowd and got to a stairway that I had to walk down. I started down it, and like magic, the cramps disappeared. Weirdest thing! I got to the bottom of the stairs with the legs feeling normal, and turned around to see my friend laughing hysterically at my earlier Crampy Cramperton limping giddyup.

All I needed to complete the picture was to be wearing a pair of bib overalls and a greasy straw hat!

So if not for any other reason than to avoid suddenly becoming a pain riddled Crampy Cramperton in a public setting, remember to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate on long, hot rides. Your legs will thank you, and the gnarly pain of cramped quads and/or hammies, will be kept at bay!

Now for something completely different
Check out ex-LA Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda on the left, checking out Psy do some Gangham dancing at Dodger Stadium…

Could it be old school Tommy was offended? Love to hear his thoughts on it all. He loves to say what's on his mind. With colorful words!

Until next time, remember to strap on a helmet every time you get on the bike. And then, do all you can to keep the rubber side down!

-- Mark Eric Larson

Mark Eric Larson has written two books of essays, "The NERVE...of Some People's Kids," and "Don't Force it, Get a Bigger Hammer. To read, visit: 
http://www.scribd.com/Mark%20Eric%20Larson/shelfHis blog of personal essays is at: http://marksmuzings.blogspot.com/