Saturday, April 4, 2015

This is a ride? No, it's an obstacle course...


Sometimes, even the therapy of getting out on the bike turns into a series of unexpected close calls.
That happened on my April Fools Day ride. When it ended and I happily made it back home unscathed, I concluded the day had seemed much more like Halloween, or a Friday the 13th  on a full moon. But April Fools Day was still pretty fitting.
My first close encounter was on a curving bike trail ramp up to a bridge that goes over a road. I always look ahead to see if anybody’s coming the other way. If they are, I try to get a feel for how fast, and yes, if they’re in the right lane.
Near the top there’s a blind right turn and as I ride up, a college kid on a small bike barrels around the corner, in my lane, straight at me.
“Get outta the way!” I yell. He veers crazily out into his own lane and keeps on going. I take a deep breath and ride on. I have a thought: Clowns like this kid need to have their bikes sawed in half and put into a recycling bin.
Little do I know there is plenty more crazy to come. And, just for added adventure, it’s windy! Oh, love that wind. And my legs are tired from the long ride the day before. I resign myself to the fact that this is going to be a 51-mile slog. And, it is, pretty much. But several monkey wrenches pop up along the way. Such as:
• A toddler runs loose on a downhill part of the trail where riders routinely fly down at 20 mph. The kid’s mom walks behind him along the trail, completely oblivious to the danger her kid/riders are in because of a possible hit and crash. I brake and call out to the daydreaming mom, “Better pick him up!”
Gladly, she isn’t deaf, and looks to have been jostled awake by what she just heard.
“Thank you,” she calls, as she runs ahead and scoops up the kid.
Really? Sure, it’s just fine if I let the little guy run free on the well-traveled bike trail. It’s such a beautiful day!
I remember another time I had a much closer call with a little kid. He and his mom were at the side of the bike trail, where it’s flat and riders often try out their speed skills. I saw the two ahead. Just as I was about to ride by, the mom let go of the kid to put her hair up in a beret or ponytail, with both hands. In that split second, the kid darted out onto the trail. I swerved and just missed hitting the little guy. After almost swallowing my heart, I was speechless as I rode on.
• Riding down the end of a fast descent off of a bridge, I look ahead. Here, cyclists have a good burst of speed as they cross a street where they have the right of way. Three teenage girls are about to cross the entrance to the bike path, which resumes off the street. The first crosses, sees me coming fast and scoots across. The other two are about cross in front of me. They look up at the last second, see me, and beat a hasty retreat as I ride by.
What? Look before crossing a bike path? Why would we need to do that?
Same thing happens on the way home. A fast walking coed doesn’t look before she’s about to stride off the sidewalk to cross the street, right in my path.
“HeyHeyHEY!” I yell as I veer away. She stops herself just in time. Again, near heart attack.
• A shirtless, barrel chested young guy runs the opposite way on the bike trail, as his pit bull runs behind him in the bike lane, dragging his leash. Tough Guy has a smirk on his face like he thinks it’s cute to make cyclists avoid hitting his free running dog.
• As if avoiding suicidal squirrels and unleashed dogs isn’t enough, a black cat appears very close to the trail at the end of a fast descent. What? A cat?
I slow down hoping it doesn’t dart onto the trail. Relieved when it doesn’t. Not really ready to run over and kill a house cat.
• I ride around a few cases of walkers positioned on the bike trail shoulder to shoulder. They’re blithely indifferent to the fact that they are blocking lanes of the bike trail where, yes, cyclists come through, both ways, and sometimes at the same time. That means the whole trail, for their safety and for the safety of cyclists, should be kept clear. There is often a dirt footpath along both sides of the bike trail. But many walkers shun the idea of walking single file on the paths. They walk next to each other on the bike trail so they can talk. Some walkers are comical in their steadfast refusal to give up their lane space. They stare down approaching riders with a ridiculous display of  “Don’t care if I’m in your lane, I’m not giving ground, deal with it.”
• And of course, what ride would be complete without adults riding with children, the children wearing helmets, and the adults not wearing them. These adults seem to think they’ll never crash, so why should they wear a helmet? Well, what if they do crash, for some unpredictable reason, and crack their heads on the pavement? And suffer a serious brain injury. Won’t be much of a parent to the kids then. I see this all the time.

I was a little jumpy after all the close calls. Still, the ride had some great parts. Chortled at three wild turkeys alongside the bike trail, and all three gave a call-back chortle! Tough to get those, great victory when it happens! Just the day before I set a personal record with a five-turkey group chortle-back. On a roll. Need to get this on video.
What was the best part of this harrowing ride? Easy. I made it back home without having a mechanical, crash, getting hurt, or hitting and/or injuring anybody. Hey, if every ride ends like that, no matter how tough it was to endure mentally or physically, I’m good, more than thankful.

Cruisin’ the neighborhood
I have a cruiser bike that I rarely ride, but last weekend I decided, hey, time to air up its tires, and take a wandering cruise. This friggin’ bike feels like it’s made out of lead next to my feather light road bike. It has an aluminum frame, three speeds, with a hand brake for the front wheel and an annoying rear wheel coaster brake that’s easy to lock up by mistake. No worries, I rode the neighborhood streets, thinking of nothing, and checked back with streets I hadn’t ridden for years. I saw some alleys and remembered I used to ride down any alleys I could find, just for fun. Most times they were dirt and rutted, where scruffy tomcats stalked their territory, and odd-looking people would appear out of nowhere. The alley rides never lacked for interesting sights. Gotta do another alley tour on the cruiser!

‘Til next time, remember to put on a helmet every time you get on the bike. Then make sure to keep the rubber side down, ride safely, and most of all, have a blast.
-- Mark Eric Larson

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