Pre-ride eats, squirrels, Cheetos, & paint job theory

There’s a lot written about what’s best to eat to get maximum performance riding the bike. But what works for some doesn’t for others.  It’s an individual thing.

But whatever is taken in, I think it helps to keep it simple.

Here’s my pre-ride nutrition routine: I make myself a fruit smoothie to drink with a multi-vitamin, drink a large glass of water, eat some energy chews, and that’s it, I’m good to go.

I have a little smoothie mixer called the Magic Bullet that I highly recommend if you want a quick and easy way to blend a drink sized smoothie.  I throw into the plastic Bullet cup a cut up banana, frozen blueberries, almond milk, a heaping spoon of whey protein, and a drizzle of some flax seed oil. I screw the rotor blade top/bottom on the cup, pop it upside down on the Magic Bullet, and it mixes up in less than 30 seconds. After downing that, the vitamin, the water and energy chews, I’m hydrated and fueled up. Sometimes, if it’s cool out, I take a couple quick gulps of hot coffee, and that really revs up the engine.

For the ride I pack a protein bar, some beef jerky, a piece of fruit like a small granny smith apple or a plum, and a little string cheese. I just put water in my cage bottle and keep extra energy chews to take before tough parts of the ride.

I just started reminding myself to drink the glass of water before shoving off, because I found I’d usually be far into the ride before taking my first swig. They always say if you wait ‘til you’re thirsty to take a drink, you’re behind in getting the hydration the body needs. That’s what I had been doing, and it took me longer to get up to speed.

But the pre-ride water gets me warmed up and into a good rhythm right away. I perspire more than before at the beginning of rides, and that shows it’s quickly working to cool me off.

You no doubt have your own routine of pre-ride food, or hydration. Try out a few variations and you’ll learn what gives you the best balance of fuel and hydration for a strong start.

On the trail

Met a guy on the bike path this week, riding a Belgian Ridley bike. He told me he and a buddy took the Campagnolo hardware off his old bike and put it on the new Ridley carbon frame. Did a nice job, sweet looking ride.

“I do all my own bike maintenance,” he said.

We talked about all the squirrels running across the bike path these days. I told him I recently couldn’t avoid running one over, but was grateful I managed to keep from crashing.

“They’re rutting now,” he said, meaning the little buggers have hook up fever. Not to mention their haywire nut-collecting for the coming winter. “I’ve run over three recently.”

I assumed he didn’t crash from the runovers, he had no detectable road rash or nicks in his nice paint job. “It’s like running over a rock,” he said. “They’re unpredictable, making decisions (based on humping prospects) that make no sense. Kind of like we did when we were 21.”

We agreed we both made such mistakes when we were young and dumb, and convinced we were smarter than anybody. But at least we survived, unlike some of the squirrels sprinting for a score, only to be clobbered by a fast moving bike.

But it’s the smart and the lucky, not necessarily in that order, that make it through the hormonally challenged brain, be it animal or human.

Check out a recorded riding experience of just clipping the back of a darting squirrel. Note how the rider seems to be trying not to have a heart attack…

Love that Cheetos jersey

Taking a mid-ride break recently I chatted with a guy wearing a bright orange Cheesy Riders Cheetos bike jersey, which sported the large paw prints of Chester the Cheetah, the cartoon pitch cat for Cheetos.

“I want that,” I told the guy. “I’m a lifelong Cheetos fan.”

“I think they’re pretty hard to get,” he said. “I lent a guy my bike in Texas. He was with Frito Lay, and he gave it to me as a thanks.” I looked around and there are a few Cheesy Rider bike clubs around the country who sport the coveted Cheetos jersey. But they really aren’t readily available. I think there might be one or two on eBay. I need to loan my bike to a Frito Lay guy. But that’s a stretch. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever quit having a few Cheetos now and then. Probably next to bacon, a bag of them is no doubt among the best tasting, most satisfying, full on junk food. But hey, the unavoidable Cheetos fingers, the neon orange color not found in nature? Hard to beat.

But no, I don’t take a bag of Cheetos along on any rides. Post ride? All bets are off…

That looks sweet…

If a rider is in the market to buy a new road bike, what is the factor that makes he or she choose one bike over all others?

I have a theory. The paint job.

Sure, gotta have a respectable name brand, and there are plenty of those. And reliable components. But if all things are relatively equal, I think the cool factor of a bike’s paint job will ultimately swing the rider to buy. Or not.

I’ve seen road bikes for sale that have it all, but then come in a drab, uninspired paint job that pretty much has no mojo. And if I’m throwing down top dollar for a new bike, it’s gotta look good! A great color combination and slick design.

Anyway, bike manufacturers, here’s a strategy that I’m almost positive will boost your bike sales: Colorful, wicked paint jobs.
Now, I have no stats to back this up, but I'm pretty sure...

Until next time, remember to strap on a helmet every time you get on a bike. Then do all in your power to keep the rubber side down, have fun and return safely from a great ride.

-- Mark Eric Larson

Mark Eric Larson has written two books of essays, "The NERVE...of Some People's Kids," and "Don't Force it, Get a Bigger Hammer. To read, visit: 
http://www.scribd.com/Mark%20Eric%20Larson/shelf
His blog of personal essays is at: http://marksmuzings.blogspot.com/