Bee sting packs a head punch

Muhammad Ali used to famously chant that when he was in the ring he would “float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.”

Well, on a recent ride last week, a bee hit me like it was shot out of a peashooter, then stung me right between the eyebrows. OK, it was a just a bee sting. But by the next day my eyes were puffed up as if I’d been peppered with Ali jabs for 15 rounds. It was more like, “forehead sting, puffy eyes will bring.”

When the bee hit, it felt like I'd been hit by by a flying pebble. What? Aren’t bees’ bodies soft and subject to squashing upon colliding at high speed with any hard surface?

That’s what I thought. Well, I can report without doubt, I was incorrecto.

I swatted at my forehead, then saw the bee pass earthward in front of my left eye. In the milliseconds between the collision and the swat, the bee had embedded his trusty stinger into my forehead meat. It was milli-inches from the outer frame of my sunglasses and an inch or so under my helmet. Bam! Straight into exposed skin.

I’ve gotten stung on the bike before, but in less tender areas. Once a bee stung me right in the chest after it hit and got entangled in my jersey. I couldn’t believe his stinger went right through the material and into my flesh. There was an initial sharp pain followed by a dull throb. It was red and swelled up like a giant mosquito bite. But it was gone in a few days.

Another bee stung me on my bare quad – out of nowhere, never saw him, but definitely felt his barb -- as I pedaled.

I’m just glad I’m not allergic to bee stings, what with the going into shock and being unable to breathe, and possibly dying on the trail without help nearby.

But even without a life-threatening bee sting allergy, the toxin from their tail barbs is nasty. You’re supposed to pull out the stinger and take an antihistamine. But that’s hard to do on a ride out in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know how long this bee’s stinger was stuck into my head, but it did its job.

I just kept on riding for another 30 miles or so, as the stung area began to throb like the telltale heart – between my eyes.

All I did at the end of the ride was ice it down. I figured that would do it. I should have taken allergy medicine, as my wife had advised at the time. But of course, I didn’t.

So the next morning I awoke to feeling like the flesh around my eyes had been injected with Novocaine: Numb and fat. When I looked into the mirror, I saw my eyes were swollen into slits. Hey, I lost a 15-rounder!

At that point, I knew I should have taken my wife’s earlier advice, so I downed some allergy medicine.

The eye area swelling gradually went down, and there wasn’t any pain with the puffiness, so it just had to cycle out on its own. But wow, those little critters pack a punch.

Once, when I rode behind my friend Brian, I saw him slow down and shake his head violently side to side. He stopped his bike, jumped off, and tore off his helmet, as I watched a bee fly away from his head. Somehow he lucked out, didn’t get stung.

But getting a bee in the bonnet while riding? You hear and feel it buzzing around angrily, looking for an exit. None fun! The helmet tear-off has to happen, pronto. And hopefully, in doing the helmet toss, you have the presence of mind, as Brian did, to first brake to a stop and get off the bike, so no nasty crash results.

Still, it was entertaining to see how fast Brian got off his bike and shed his helmet! Could be a Guinness record. It was like he was suddenly in fast-forward like in some herky-jerky Keystone Kops scene.

The important thing is not to panic when you get a bee sting. Especially if you’re allergic to them. If you are, and you who are I’m sure already know this, it’s essential to carry a couple EpiPens, to use if you get stung, then call 911 from your phone right away. Hopefully that never happens, but being ready with an emergency plan is key to surviving a threatening bee sting and living to ride again.

BTW, Here's some good advice on how to remove a honey bee stinger so you can minimize how much venom you get from it. Check it out...

Til next time, make sure to strap on a helmet every time you get on the bike. Then, keep the rubber side down as you ride safely and have fun.

-- Mark Eric Larson

Hot ride blues, let there be joy

Been riding a lot of three long rides in consecutive days in recent weeks and have learned a few things. Mainly, that I ride a lot faster and more efficiently when the air is relatively cool and dry. If it gets hot on the ride, even if I’m well hydrated, I sweat it out and my energy goes down like a draining battery. I do all I can to avoid rides in the heat, but can’t always manage it. One strategy is to leave early in the morning to beat the heat of later in the day. But I also found my energy is lower when I start out early, around sunrise. That’s probably because I’m not fully warmed up. And the early morning air puts a bit of a drag on the bike because it is heavier with vapor than later in the day when the heat kicks in. But either way, challenging conditions can be overcome mentally. It just takes some dialed in concentration. Physically it takes a high energy level that can happen with good nutrition and hydration. And, it takes good aerobic/anaerobic capacity. Oh yeah,  and strong legs. But getting those variables synched up is no easy trick!

I’d been pushing hard on every ride for several weeks to work on improving my times. But I came to notice that my constant hammer down mentality was taking the fun out of the rides. Except at the end of them, when I got good times. So this last week I rode with the idea of going as fast or as slow as I felt like, without pushing. And it definitely brought the fun of the ride right back. Didn’t go as fast, but still kept a nice pace and let the mind relax and enjoy. It was very much worth it.

Trail regulars

A coyote loped across the trail in front of me the other day, and it reminded me of another rare encounter I had a few months ago. A skunk waddled urgently alongside the trail as I rode up. He stopped, turned and reared up on his hind legs as I rode by. Usually the only indication there’s a skunk nearby is the pungent stink they use to defend themselves. While I’ll smell them occasionally on the trail, I usually don’t see them. But this guy stopped and watched as I rode by and I thought he was figuring whether it was necessary for him to fire off a round of his anti-cologne. I just kept riding straight ahead, and I’m glad to report he held fire.

I also see deer fairly regularly, the latest was a doe sniffing some vegetation right off the trail with her sweet little Bambi, back spots and all, at her side.

And just a few days ago rode past a newly run over squirrel on the trail, belly up. He was a pretty little guy with a big fluffy tail. Sad to see, but at least he probably didn’t suffer.

Some riders I see all the time on the trail, going in the opposite direction. There’s a woman who’s always pedaling in high gear who always wears baggy lilac-colored shorts. She never makes any eye contact, she just purposely looks away. She’s always out there, powerful pedaler, gotta have legs of steel. Another woman I see rides with a big hat and scarf. Looks like a beekeeper. Others include a guy I call Woody Allen, who walks fast along the trail swinging his arms high as he strides, there’s Ruben (my name for him, don’t know where it came from), a tall older tan guy with black hair and ponytail, who just quietly rides the trail upright on a bike with high handlebars, in a steady, contemplative way; and Akimbo (also my name for him), a runner who lets his arms flail in all directions while he runs.

Then there’s Ear Muffs Guy, who’s always slouched over a time trial bike with extended handlebars. He always looks ahead and waves as he flies by. Don’t know if he’s got music playing in his earmuffs  or what, but they’re really big, covered with fluffy white fur. Which is a very different look! He always seems to wear them, even in warm weather. He must really like ‘em! Maybe he doesn’t want to hear wind as he rides. Can only speculate.

Another guy I see has a full riding kit on, and has a dark mustache like Tom Selleck or Keith Hernandez. Friendly dude, strong rider, always waves. And the other day, saw something for the first time. A woman roadie approached from the other way, and when I looked up to see her face, saw something covering her face that looked like a flattened cloth mask with little holes in it. Maybe she was trying to filter the pollution out of the air, not sure. But wow, it looked weird. So I came up with a good name for her: Lady Freddie Krueger.

I’m gonna race you

A few weeks ago I was riding up an extended pitch on the trail and came upon a roadie, going slow, and he was followed closely by a teen-aged kid on a fixie and some of his friends. I passed the roadie, and the lead kid on the fixie decided to pass him too and catch up to me. I asked him something about whether he ever climbed with that bike, but I don’t think he heard me. He picked up speed, and so did I until I could feel we were having a little friendly little race that was building to a sprint after we hit the top of the pitch. This kid had serious raw power and of course, he was cocky. He was going to smoke a guy on a road bike with his fixie. So we kept going faster and faster, and then I flipped up to the next gear. This was actually pretty entertaining for me, because this kid was sure he was strong enough outrun a road bike with his fixie.

To his credit, he picked up the pace as my higher gear kicked in, and we were going about 20 mph. I continued to put down the hammer as a sweeping left hand, dipping turn approached. That’s when he pulled off. I wanted to tell the kid that if he wanted to go fast so bad, just get a road bike! But I suspect he turned around to tell his friends he just beat that guy on a road bike in a race. It was fun all around.

And finally, I’ve gotten into the habit of oiling my chain once every three rides or so, and it really makes for smoother shifting and keeps the chain happy. I use Boeshield T9 since it’s better at repelling dirt than others I’ve used. Check this out…

‘Til next time, remember to strap on a helmet before every ride. Then, keep the rubber side down, be safe and have fun.

-- Mark Eric Larson